I noticed how much I liked putting our laundry in the dryer together. Your tank top was tied around the cloth I use to catch my menstrual blood. The colors matched.
I did the dishes and I kept playing my game of pretend where we were something that we are not. Perhaps I am looking at what is missing instead of looking at what I have, but when I looked at what I have, I see a thin man older than me sitting at my kitchen table wearing head phones who has never even said that he loves me. But what I am missing is a dragon lover who would breathe his fire back at me.
It is truly a remarkable thing that we continue to open ourselves to love in this world.
God, I love you.
I mean, you aren't God.
Except in the fact that Thou Art God and all that.
But what I mean is that I cannot look away sometimes for how beautiful I find you. I get stopped in my tracks watching you dance. Your stuttering steps like the tango I never learned.
I tried so hard to dance with you that I forgot how to walk forward.
It was so much easier when I could just look at you.
i fell in love like apple pie in summer time with too much whipped cream, and the crust is burnt on the bottom. i fell in love as if i were on fire, and you were the only one with burn cream, please take care of me i screamed over a very civilized meal of steamed broccoli, sweet potatoes, and chicken thighs. oh, my broken heart has fractured into a billion pieces and been put back again topsy turvy in the disjointed mirror of your reflection, humanity. and i will fall in love tomorrow with any luck. this heart breaking open in the song of your beautiful smile, the mischief in your eyes, the recognition for just a moment that we are both blissfully, painfully alive. i cannot wait for the next moment of my love to unfold in the quiet heat of our desperation. and let us imagine pulling each others clothes off in the skin touching skin of me handing you your double wet cappuccino. I fell in love like diving into the ocean not being sure if I should use my gills or my lungs. this fish out of water has fallen in love with precisely two texans. only one of them said ya'll proudly, and I know I will find my soul mate.
if i am a river bank and also, a river, we could swim and rest in me for what remains of this life. and perhaps, we would be sated. yet, i think we are bored of resting. it is time to dive into the work we are called to, so let us be free to swim in the vastness of the sea knowing that all water is connected; tears, rain, blood, sweat, lakes and the wetness between my legs all comes from clouds. the atmosphere of our planet being a result of billions of years of continual change before homo sapiens showed up. so what makes me think that we cannot reform the molecules of us to make similarly shaped beings who live from love. all heart breaks are the same tearing apart and hopeful reforming of the plight of human separation from Oneness. so let us float in the chalice of collective consciousness until we are big enough to love the ocean without ignoring the garbage island and the radiation. i'm going to love you until the end of time, dearest. and while this poem started out to the singular you of my lover, let this prayer be a droplet flowing into creek, becoming stream, becoming river, becoming the ocean of our unity.